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Monday, 29 June 2015

27 weeks

27 weeks means that I am entering the third and final trimester. I've had emotional moments knowing that the changes ahead mean a lot of "lasts" for Ezra and I. The time we have had just the two of us will come to a close in just 12 short weeks. 
But I also think that I've been thinking about it wrongly a little bit. Sure it's the last summer just me and him, sure Echo will have a lot of my attention, but it is not like I am going anywhere. I am not going away I will still see Ezra every day and I will make every shred of effort to spend time with him, make him feel like the priority he is, and just loving him the same as always. That won't change and I have to remind myself of that. 
This pregnancy, has been different in the one and only sense that I am not out to predict Echo's anything. I have no inkling for what he will look like, what he will be like, what life will be like, what the joys will be like, I am going to emotionally let it hit me all unexpectedly. No expectations, no predictions, just what will be will be. Embracing chaos, embracing new hardship, embracing new love and embracing newness with open arms. If I can keep that motto, I think I will be ok :)

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

25 Weeks

I wish I could encapsulate somehow all the amazing things Ezra has been saying about Echo through the pregnancy,  I write them down, but I never want to forget his immense sweetness. One of the best so far, is when he asked  "Echo will be a friend to play with?"

or even just today: "When is Echo gonna pop out?"... "a kiss for Echo"... "I am your love and he is your love" or the way he wants me to tell the story of what's gonna happen when Nonna brings him at the hospital and he will get to meet Echo.

I know that there will be an adjustment period for me, the boys, the family, but wow the way Ezra is an outpouring of love towards Echo and my belly and my well being, really does make things easier emotionally for me.

At this point in the pregnancy is when things are starting to feel REAL and almost imminent. We have the summer and then that's it, then this babe is coming--- ready or not.

Although materially, we have everything, he truly could be here tomorrow and we'd be ready. But Im not yet ready for the constant juggling, I am embracing full force the fact that I only have to care for one kiddo at this point! Of course, as predictable as it may be, my biggest fear is just making time for each child.

I look forward to the boys interacting in even the most miniscule ways..... and Christmases with a santa and an elf, all experiences from now on Ezra will be able to share with a peer.