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Thursday, 23 August 2012

32 weeks | 8 months!

I'll start with a Rant and then I'll go into the usual weekly updates ;)


I think it's only 1 in 10 moms/parents who are actually encouraging.

When you get pregnant, suddenly you hear everyone's' thoughts about parenting- and yup, you guessed it, they are most of the times, subtly negative.

Don't be fooled if they start out with a sentence like: "oh you're life is gonna change forever" and then sneak in "for the better". These remarks are always with a subtle tone of "enjoy your life now, cause it's about to come crashing down"... seriously people!? THAT is not encouraging.

The other school of negative thought that I've been hearing alot is much more direct and in your face; Brian and I like to call it the "you don't know shit". Believe it or not, many many parents imply the "you don't know shit" when talking to you about parenting. Sometimes it's condescending, and sometimes it's only a tiny sentence sprinkled in the conversation.

UM HELLO YOU ARE NOT BEING HELPFUL, AND DEFINITELY NOT ENCOURAGING ABOUT THIS NEW LIFE CHAPTER. You think you're being friendly and giving whatever kind of advice, but you are not! you are being demeaning, patronizing, vague, discouraging and/or negative.

Christine is one of the few mothers I know who has always had a positive attitude about parenting. Always. And I will add, she has NOT had an easy 16 months with her baby, she has done it all on her own, away from her family--- and still she sounds like a complete different parent than these "subtly negative, discouraging people".

I realize that just like it was with marriage, until you are IN the situation you actually "don't know much" about it. Simultaneously, these women/parents do not realize that through their comments, through their teeth, they are implying that they are not happy-- and that there is something missing or lacking.

"I love my 3year old, she is the best snuggler BUT..."
"Having kids is great, it will change your life forever, just wait and see DUM DUM DUM..."
"Enjoy the time you have now, because everything is going to change..."
"Those baby classes, at least they make you feel like you know something, right!?..."

I am not delusional, I realize priorities are gonna be different, but people- do you not think I thought about this before I conceived?

I may not have been a parent before, but I know I am the kind of person who wouldn't let myself go, nor let my husbands' and my relationship suffer, because I know we would ALL be unhappy...

I hope that if and when Brian or I will see that we are not happy, we will be able to restructure and adjust so that we are happy individuals. I strongly believe we have to be happy on our own, and then happy together to be happy and productive parents.

Even thought I hear it's the hardest job one will ever do, I think showing a little positivity would go a long way.

Additionally, in response to the "you don't know shit" school of thought, we say back: We've read the best books on the market, rated by YOU parents, we've attended 6 classes on child-care, breastfeeding and childbirth--- i think we know SOME-thing! or in the very least we are prepared to find out.


And now for the weekly update:

This marks the week where I broke into the maternity aisle.
I had tried on a few nursing bras throughout the previous weeks, always with the intent of "yes this is it, this is the day I will buy a nursing bra". I really have been needing a larger one out of necessity and wanted to just go ahead and purchase a nursing one rather than just a larger one that I'd never use.

Every time I'd try one on, it would be reinforced that I just couldn't give into the sloppy, unsupported options that target offers.

I have read that Nordstrom will turn any bra into a nursing bra for just $10!!!! I thought this was amazing, and yet completely unhelpful as there is no Nordstrom here. I am also entertaining the idea of converting one or two myself if need be!

My reasoning goes something like this: my body will look its worse post postpartum while things tighten and recover, and the last thing I will deserve is to have floppy unsupported boobs-- it would  really be a needless slap in the face. My boobs will be firm and big, so why let them sag inside un-shapely potato sacks!?

So I did some online research and finally bought one (still to arrive) I have high hopes that this one will not only be cute, but supportive!!! and do its only job in life well!


Also while at Target, I gave into a fall maternity purchase, something I knew I would need at one point: maternity leggings. I haven't worn anything pant-like in many months until now-- and boy it feels good to have the option again! I love these leggings ($23) and I know I will wear them from now on until delivery and also afterwards for a little bit ;)


Ezra is perfect as usual, "mooving and grooving" and wiggling his toes in my side ;). My low low back still hurts at the end of the day and only heat helps it. I think this is due not only to the weight, shift of balance, and hormones, but also perhaps to the way he might be positioned at times? Once the little guy turns fully head down I bet it won't hurt as bad ;)


My friends (and also strangers) keep reminding me how soon "d-day" will be here-- saying the summer has flown by or that it's just around the corner. I feel that so much and I couldn't agree more. I feel everytime I look at the calendar a 5 day chunk has gone missing and it's suddenly the end of August, or the baby shower is just less than 2 weeks away or I am suddenly 8 months pregnant etc...

It's a complete feeling of being ready yet not, then absolutely, then hmm maybe not quite and repeat.  ;)

Friday, 17 August 2012

31 weeks

31 weeks came with back/tailbone pain! I believe I had something called (SJP : Sacroiliac Joint Pain)

On Sunday I could barely move from the pain. I woke up at 3am from it and was awake for the entire night. The side of my tailbone was completely "locked up" and my left leg would give out when I walked. I would limp and it felt like back labor basically. All that helped, was keeping heat pad glued to the area for the entire day. I did not take any meds, because well, I really hate doing so, especially with baby in belly. The next day, the pain really faded away, it was so much better. I regained function of my legs and it went back to feeling stiff like it had for weeks before, something I could totally handle. It now feels stiff at the end of the day, or sometimes when i lay in bed, but I can handle this!!!

They say it was due to the relaxin hormone, which loosens joints and opens up the pelvis bone, and therefore things can "shift" the wrong way. Perhaps Ezra was in a really funny position... who knows?! I'm just SO happy it was gone so fast, I dont think I could have handled that more than 1 day! It was so bad, that Brian had to put on my underwear!!! yup, TMI but seriously. From what I read some pregnant women need crutches from SJP and are only relieved after giving birth. I was so scared that I would have to endure two months of that!? But I was sooo lucky and fortunate that the acuteness went away in only 1 day! thank GOODNESS!

Everything else has been perfect. Ezra moves ALL the time, he's such a groover. I feel him all the time and SEE him wiggle and readjust and vibrate and pulse and wiggle some more all day long. He has his preferred hours when he is most active 10:30/11:00 am and 9:30-11:30 pm.

Brian and I started the baby classes! the instructor is wonderful but the chairs we have to sit in for two hours are so cruel on my back! Brian is so cute in the class, whenever they talked about how much pain "the mom" would be in, and how hard it would be for "the dad" to watch it and be helpless, he would take my hand and kiss me and hug me. I think I'll be in labor trying to make HIM feel better....

Brian tuing paler and paler
me: "oh don't worry honey Im fiiiine" 

No but seriously, I have the sweetest man by my side, he may be squeamish, but all I know is that I didn't see anyone else kiss their wife as much as he kissed me ;) I am so lucky and blessed. I really found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow with Brian. He is so good. Ezra will be a kind and wonderful whole man because of his father.

Thursday, 9 August 2012

30 Weeks!

Things get more and more "imminent feeling" by week 30 of pregnancy. A feeling of "um this is happening to ME" is always sort of swishing through my head...

Brian felt Ezra hiccuping and it was so moving for me. Brian's jaw dropped with a smile and he was making priceless faces as he was feeling the cute little hiccups happening in my cervix area. (Hoping I am right and that his face is down there!! ready and in position!!

I have to admit, there are so many emotions going on at this point. The negative ones I blame on the baby books- which try to help and prepare you, but even the good books make it sound all a bit DAUNTING for the mother. Thankfully tough, the majority of the feelings I harvest are of excitement and gratitude to have such a healthy baby boy coming so soon.

It's just that when you add all those "post postpartum happenings" together, you wonder how the hell anyone makes it...

giving birth recovery, episiotomy recovery, 6-8 weeks bleeding, breasts leaking, breast pads, nursing bras, lack of sleep, belly band wearing, floppy stomach-----all while getting to know your new born baby, his habits, his perfection, his pureness, and all that he is....

It's a lot going on-- I can't believe each woman doesn't get some kind of award after doing all that! really.

I talk to Brian about all my "fears and worries" and that makes such a huge difference. Talking to him is priceless to my sanity and I always come out a better person from our talks.

Deep inside I know, that even through all those preoccupations, I will and do care more about focusing on baby Ezra- and finally meeting him and letting him know HOW MUCH I love him. The whole world won't matter as much as him. My number one goal will be letting him know how much I love him, beginning with the day he is born, and everyday for the rest of my life.
Little side-effects of pregnancy lately have been: my ears are stuffed and feel as if there is water in them. This is apparently due to fluid retention!

I cannot get myself to buy a nursing bra--- ugh I dunno what it is about them but they all are so "old woman-esque" and seem not designed for support, but just comfort...and I know I'll need support. I know I need to cave in soon and find something! Maybe I'll do a post about cute nursing bras at one point ...

By the way this entire pregnancy I am happy to say that I have not bought a single maternity piece of clothing! yay! I know this would have been impossible in the winter, that's why, despite the heat, I'd be preggo again during the summer---because I have not had a single clothing crisis at all !!! Dresses in M and L sizes from Forever 21, TJMAXX, Marshalls and H&M have served me so well!

It seems pretty unbelievable that next time we see our baby boy will be face to face. I feel ready, not because I am uncomfortable, but just because I am just DYING to meet him!

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Venice | October 2011

Almost 1 year later I am finally getting around to posting photos of our Euro trip! :D better late than never, right!?

Arriving into Venice at sunset couldn't have been more glorious...

Every crevice was a work of art...

Piazza San Marco:

Oh yeah I had to even being Italian ;D
he's not so into it though...

and here come the most hilarious photos I've ever taken in my life!