I'll start with a Rant and then I'll go into the usual weekly updates ;)
Vent/Rant:
I think it's only 1 in 10 moms/parents who are actually encouraging.
When you get pregnant, suddenly you hear everyone's' thoughts about parenting- and yup, you guessed it, they are most of the times, subtly negative.
Don't be fooled if they start out with a sentence like: "oh you're life is gonna change forever" and then sneak in "for the better". These remarks are always with a subtle tone of "enjoy your life now, cause it's about to come crashing down"... seriously people!? THAT is not encouraging.
The other school of negative thought that I've been hearing alot is much more direct and in your face; Brian and I like to call it the "you don't know shit". Believe it or not, many many parents imply the "you don't know shit" when talking to you about parenting. Sometimes it's condescending, and sometimes it's only a tiny sentence sprinkled in the conversation.
UM HELLO YOU ARE NOT BEING HELPFUL, AND DEFINITELY NOT ENCOURAGING ABOUT THIS NEW LIFE CHAPTER. You think you're being friendly and giving whatever kind of advice, but you are not! you are being demeaning, patronizing, vague, discouraging and/or negative.
Christine is one of the few mothers I know who has always had a positive attitude about parenting. Always. And I will add, she has NOT had an easy 16 months with her baby, she has done it all on her own, away from her family--- and still she sounds like a complete different parent than these "subtly negative, discouraging people".
I realize that just like it was with marriage, until you are IN the situation you actually "don't know much" about it. Simultaneously, these women/parents do not realize that through their comments, through their teeth, they are implying that they are not happy-- and that there is something missing or lacking.
"I love my 3year old, she is the best snuggler BUT..."
"Having kids is great, it will change your life forever, just wait and see DUM DUM DUM..."
"Enjoy the time you have now, because everything is going to change..."
"Those baby classes, at least they make you feel like you know something, right!?..."
I am not delusional, I realize priorities are gonna be different, but people- do you not think I thought about this before I conceived?
I may not have been a parent before, but I know I am the kind of person who wouldn't let myself go, nor let my husbands' and my relationship suffer, because I know we would ALL be unhappy...
I hope that if and when Brian or I will see that we are not happy, we will be able to restructure and adjust so that we are happy individuals. I strongly believe we have to be happy on our own, and then happy together to be happy and productive parents.
Even thought I hear it's the hardest job one will ever do, I think showing a little positivity would go a long way.
Additionally, in response to the "you don't know shit" school of thought, we say back: We've read the best books on the market, rated by YOU parents, we've attended 6 classes on child-care, breastfeeding and childbirth--- i think we know SOME-thing! or in the very least we are prepared to find out.
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And now for the weekly update:
This marks the week where I broke into the maternity aisle.
I had tried on a few nursing bras throughout the previous weeks, always with the intent of "yes this is it, this is the day I will buy a nursing bra". I really have been needing a larger one out of necessity and wanted to just go ahead and purchase a nursing one rather than just a larger one that I'd never use.
Every time I'd try one on, it would be reinforced that I just couldn't give into the sloppy, unsupported options that target offers.
I have read that Nordstrom will turn any bra into a nursing bra for just $10!!!! I thought this was amazing, and yet completely unhelpful as there is no Nordstrom here. I am also entertaining the idea of converting one or two myself if need be!
My reasoning goes something like this: my body will look its worse post postpartum while things tighten and recover, and the last thing I will deserve is to have floppy unsupported boobs-- it would really be a needless slap in the face. My boobs will be firm and big, so why let them sag inside un-shapely potato sacks!?
So I did some online research and finally bought one (still to arrive) I have high hopes that this one will not only be cute, but supportive!!! and do its only job in life well!
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Also while at Target, I gave into a fall maternity purchase, something I knew I would need at one point: maternity leggings. I haven't worn anything pant-like in many months until now-- and boy it feels good to have the option again! I love these leggings ($23) and I know I will wear them from now on until delivery and also afterwards for a little bit ;)
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Ezra is perfect as usual, "mooving and grooving" and wiggling his toes in my side ;). My low low back still hurts at the end of the day and only heat helps it. I think this is due not only to the weight, shift of balance, and hormones, but also perhaps to the way he might be positioned at times? Once the little guy turns fully head down I bet it won't hurt as bad ;)
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My friends (and also strangers) keep reminding me how soon "d-day" will be here-- saying the summer has flown by or that it's just around the corner. I feel that so much and I couldn't agree more. I feel everytime I look at the calendar a 5 day chunk has gone missing and it's suddenly the end of August, or the baby shower is just less than 2 weeks away or I am suddenly 8 months pregnant etc...
It's a complete feeling of being ready yet not, then absolutely, then hmm maybe not quite and repeat. ;)
