37 Weeks

My little baby is almost ready to come out. He and I are both so anxious to meet one another :)

We went to the doctor today and discovered that I am 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. That piece of news came almost as a shock- and mixed emotions, even though I was WANTING that exact news.

The initial shock, then panic, then happiness, then pride, excitement, anxiousness, and more and more and more joy and happiness! then: "Brian, you HAVE to pack your bag!"

I am so proud of how on chart Ezra is, and so happy that things are progressing!

Our awesome doc also told us that he is sitting super low and that I won't have to push long! 100 more points for baby!!! Dang this kid is a good one ;)

This week we did the hospital tour and initially I was nervous-- seeing and imagining myself there- in a paper gown (but hey I plan on wearing make-up-oh-yeah!) but then we went to the nursery where all my feelings were transformed into joy. A handful of teensy teeny babies all bundled up and swaddled couldn't have looked cuter to me. As i looked at them I remembered, and it wasn't so long ago, where I thought newborns were funny looking-- but now these little guys looked like cherubs from heaven to me-- they might as well have had wings.

I inspected the size of them and thought "that's about right, that's about the size foot I feel nudging my side" ;)

I think the baby nursery should be where people go to chill out on a bad day.

After having seen the L&D room and its sterile appearance, I went home to pack 1 decoration for our room ;) just to add a touch of warmth to it.

Everyone comments on how the belly has dropped, but honestly I think that's just something people say around 35 weeks or so...

Our group of friends all made "bets" on when Ezra would arrive-- and only 2 people guessed that he would be 1 or 2 days late-- everyone else estimates an early arrival :D 

The big day is soon indeed.

36 weeks | 9 MONTHS!

We hit the 9 month mark- 3 more weeks to go! At this point it's just a countdown to surrealism.
Everything and I mean every.thing. is prepared and ready for baby! the last laundry load is done, the hospital bag is packed, and I look ripe enough. I think about when we will be driving our baby home, and what that will feel like, I think about how we'll handle frustrating moments, I think about how we will bundle him up for walks. I hope he'll have a little bit of hair on his head to keep him warm, but both Brian and I were bald babes ;)

Christine shot our maternity shoot and I am so excited about it. I am also so anxious for Ezra's first photoshoot. We hired a specialized photographer who captures the type of newborn shots that I DIE for! I already prize myself for having chosen to book her, I already feel like it was a great investment that we will value forever.

It's getting quite cold outside, the trees blushing and blonding, stoops are being decorated with spooky memorabilia-- these are all signs I was waiting for for months!!!! they are all here indeed and they only mean one wonderful thing to me this year-- We will meet our baby face to face SO SOON.

The doc checked my cervix last Friday, and boy oh boy that is something I was not super prepared for. It was quite intense, and I felt "strange" for a few hours after the exam. wheeeewww. I was not dilated, but she could feel the start of "something" and she could feel his head really low. YAY!

I definitely want to progress so badly at this point!! I sit on the gym ball and bounce and we take walks and I try to "meditate" about progressing physically. I would hate to go much over our due date.

When we bring baby home, I really hope we won't have too many visitors, family included. I really want it to be just Brian Ezra and I. Our nucleus adjusting and learning without distractions. No stress, just the 3 of us adapting and learning on our own. I think we are equipped and capable for the most part.

 

I wonder what it will feel like to wake up in the morning and not feeling Ezra inside of me. I wonder what it will feel like to have to share him with so many others, since for so long he felt so much more mine. I wonder what nights will be like, I wonder what the love will feel like.

Excitement feels like an understatement at this point. OBVIOUSLY we are excited, but we feel so much more than that- we feel so close to the finish line that it's just FOR REAL. It sinks in. We will SEE our baby, touch him, brush our faces against his tiny soft cheeks, nibble on his toes, and welcome him into our love, our family.  

Ezra's Nursery

Finally I am blogging Ezra's nursery. I am in love with it, every last detail is flawless. 

Here is a little bit about it: 

35 weeks

35 weeks- SO close to the finish line I can taste it. This is when I believe we all get really anxious and just plain impatient to meet our little babies! I am undoubtedly feeling a sense of "readiness". We have prepped everything and anything you could imagine........ ok so there might be a few things missing (like the hospital bag, baby sheets etc) but pretty much we are ready to have our baby fill our house with love and baby smell :)

The weekends are spent nesting and prepping for Ezra's debut. Last weekend we prepared his entire closet, finished the nursery, yesterday we got his carseat installed etc etc.

I adore his room, it makes me so anxious for him to finally be IN THERE :D

While we are nesting and prepping I feel this "super woman" feeling like I can keep going going going and I can handle anything, a bit of a hormonal high perhaps.

The feeling of the week is also a one of "bring on the pain as that means progress". It sounds so strange; the previous weeks I tortured myself worrying about the pain- but now suddenly pain is a good thing- pain means a step in the right direction.

Last night, while sleeping on the couch where I go to change positions around 3-5am, I felt incredibly forceful STABBING pulls in my vajayjay. It was only 4 "stabs" but they were so intense that I almost wanted to wake Brian up by the second one... Obviously I was considerate and didn't, but I think if it would have been more than 4 I might have :P

I've also arrived at the point in the pregnancy where I actually SEEEEE how huge I've gotten. It's like the rose goggles have been lifted, um yeah I see the 34 lbs I put on now, all of a sudden, just like that. BOOM.

Most days I love the bigness, for it means Ezra is really thriving, some days not so much. At this point my belly button has not popped out yet, but man oh man it's hanging on for dear life! I honestly wonder how much bigger this belly can stretch!! jeez.

I look back at photos from week 20ish and I CANNOT BELIEVE i thought i was showing or that I was even merely big... those thoughts seem like idiocracy now ;) now that Ezra is as big as a large coconut.

I see his sweet movements and I always fantasize about what he might look while doing the things I think he might be doing. I swear one motion must be him sucking his fingers because it's so peaceful, repetitive and subtle.

 I feel I know him better than anyone. I know the way he gets hiccups when he wakes up startled, or  shakes, the way his feetsies kick my right side, the way he wiggles in his sleep, and the way he cuddles and twitches when he dreams.

34 weeks

Here is a tiny peek at my baby shower which rocked so very hard.

 

My mom, my sis and Christine did an insane job with every single little detail. Honestly, it was prettier than my wedding. So many thoughtful details and non-baby-cliche too.

Rather, everything was so tasteful, delicious, and flawless!

I only have this one collage pic at the moment but I plan on posting more photos for sure :)

The most wonderful thing was that I really felt SHOWERED with love by my friends and family. I felt like the most blessed person in the world, and I was on a high for the entire day and the succeeding day too :) I really think I might be one of the happiest, luckiest people in the world-- I believe the word is "blessed". I feel so very blessed.

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Ezra's nursery is realllllllllly coming together like a dream. I love walking in there, not only because it's his room, but even just because everything is so beautiful, cohesive, cheerful and invokes personality.

The theme of the room is "natural elements". Think twigs, raw woods and forests. There are a few accents of baby sheep, bunnies and rabbits. But nothing is super "baby" or themed. I really wanted a room that would grow with him, so everything besides the crib feels "little boy-esque" ;)

I hope he loves his room, and that he has so many imaginary adventures there, and that he always feels comforted by the neutral elements of nature.

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At 34 weeks Ezra was measuring still a couple of weeks bigger (35.5/36 weeks)

 so he is very consistent. Soon we will know if there is any physical progression- I am SO anxious to know :D

33 weeks

 

33 weeks is where I'd like to share all the things I'm grateful for in regards to this pregnancy: 

Although it goes unsaid, Ezra has been healthy, strong and an exemplar little fetus-baby ever since we've know about him since week 6! He made his presence known with two strong and sudden pink lines- with no hesitation at 4 weeks! At 6 weeks the doctor found his strong little heart beat without a flinch. He has continued to thrive all throughout and it's made us feel so blessed. He has never given us scares, rather, always reassures us of the strong miracle he is. 

Other things I'm so grateful for in this pregnancy are:

• I am glad I have not (yet) swollen up-- I really thought this would happen to me. For that matter, I really thought I was going to be whale-esque but I actually feel rather good about my body and weight. 

• I am glad I am not pregnant in my nose (that I know of) 

• I am glad I have not had constipation whatsoever, and yeah-- very glad to not have encountered the famous pregnancy hemorrhoids, yup I just went there. 

• I am thankful for no canckles!

• and SOOO thankful for no stretchmarks anywhere!

Besides the back/sacrum/S.I joint aches that I've had, carrying baby Ezra is a pleasure and breezy. I hope that is a sign of good things to come during delivery ;P 

I sometimes tell him that WE can go through that together, we are both really strong, and that we can help each other through that fatiguing journey that awaits us. 

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Today is my baby shower!!!! it's incredible. It feels like I will be attending someone else's. At the same time, it feels like it's my wedding day.  What a surreal day to wake up to. 

Tonight our house will be filled with so many baby items so unknown to our current reality.

At 32 weeks my belly was measuring 34 weeks (once again a hefty couple of weeks in advance) but I had not gained weight in 4 weeks! AHHH THAT felt good! healthy baby AND no gain weight! hells yea!

We've been taking baby classes and it's the sweetest thing how Brian, when hearing about how much pain the mother will go through, hugs and kisses me and looks at me CONSTANTLY. he squeezes my arm and kisses it, and looks from the teacher to me and back and forth and back and forth. Shouting with his eyes that he'll be there for me no matter what I'll need.

And don't even get me started on his reaction when they show new parents holding their baby for the first time, Brian turns into a complete giddy and melted mush.

Sometimes I think Ezra must be uncomfortable in utero or that he is just as bored as can be--- because he moves ALLLLLL the time. He never stops really. It's so reassuring, comforting, and wonderful for me--I wouldn't want it any other way--- I just hope he's comfortable in there!

We take nightly walks, in the cool summer air, and I adore that time we all spend as a family. I sure  hope we will be able to continue taking these walks once Ezra's here, even with the colder weather approaching! Hoping our pediatrician gives us the ok on that :)

Next post will be full of baby shower pics ! :D