30 Weeks!

Things get more and more "imminent feeling" by week 30 of pregnancy. A feeling of "um this is happening to ME" is always sort of swishing through my head...

Brian felt Ezra hiccuping and it was so moving for me. Brian's jaw dropped with a smile and he was making priceless faces as he was feeling the cute little hiccups happening in my cervix area. (Hoping I am right and that his face is down there!! ready and in position!!

I have to admit, there are so many emotions going on at this point. The negative ones I blame on the baby books- which try to help and prepare you, but even the good books make it sound all a bit DAUNTING for the mother. Thankfully tough, the majority of the feelings I harvest are of excitement and gratitude to have such a healthy baby boy coming so soon.

It's just that when you add all those "post postpartum happenings" together, you wonder how the hell anyone makes it...

giving birth recovery, episiotomy recovery, 6-8 weeks bleeding, breasts leaking, breast pads, nursing bras, lack of sleep, belly band wearing, floppy stomach-----all while getting to know your new born baby, his habits, his perfection, his pureness, and all that he is....

It's a lot going on-- I can't believe each woman doesn't get some kind of award after doing all that! really.

I talk to Brian about all my "fears and worries" and that makes such a huge difference. Talking to him is priceless to my sanity and I always come out a better person from our talks.

Deep inside I know, that even through all those preoccupations, I will and do care more about focusing on baby Ezra- and finally meeting him and letting him know HOW MUCH I love him. The whole world won't matter as much as him. My number one goal will be letting him know how much I love him, beginning with the day he is born, and everyday for the rest of my life.
 
Little side-effects of pregnancy lately have been: my ears are stuffed and feel as if there is water in them. This is apparently due to fluid retention!

I cannot get myself to buy a nursing bra--- ugh I dunno what it is about them but they all are so "old woman-esque" and seem not designed for support, but just comfort...and I know I'll need support. I know I need to cave in soon and find something! Maybe I'll do a post about cute nursing bras at one point ...

By the way this entire pregnancy I am happy to say that I have not bought a single maternity piece of clothing! yay! I know this would have been impossible in the winter, that's why, despite the heat, I'd be preggo again during the summer---because I have not had a single clothing crisis at all !!! Dresses in M and L sizes from Forever 21, TJMAXX, Marshalls and H&M have served me so well!

It seems pretty unbelievable that next time we see our baby boy will be face to face. I feel ready, not because I am uncomfortable, but just because I am just DYING to meet him!