Everything and I mean every.thing. is prepared and ready for baby! the last laundry load is done, the hospital bag is packed, and I look ripe enough. I think about when we will be driving our baby home, and what that will feel like, I think about how we'll handle frustrating moments, I think about how we will bundle him up for walks. I hope he'll have a little bit of hair on his head to keep him warm, but both Brian and I were bald babes ;)
Christine shot our maternity shoot and I am so excited about it. I am also so anxious for Ezra's first photoshoot. We hired a specialized photographer who captures the type of newborn shots that I DIE for! I already prize myself for having chosen to book her, I already feel like it was a great investment that we will value forever.
It's getting quite cold outside, the trees blushing and blonding, stoops are being decorated with spooky memorabilia-- these are all signs I was waiting for for months!!!! they are all here indeed and they only mean one wonderful thing to me this year-- We will meet our baby face to face SO SOON.
The doc checked my cervix last Friday, and boy oh boy that is something I was not super prepared for. It was quite intense, and I felt "strange" for a few hours after the exam. wheeeewww. I was not dilated, but she could feel the start of "something" and she could feel his head really low. YAY!
I definitely want to progress so badly at this point!! I sit on the gym ball and bounce and we take walks and I try to "meditate" about progressing physically. I would hate to go much over our due date.
When we bring baby home, I really hope we won't have too many visitors, family included. I really want it to be just Brian Ezra and I. Our nucleus adjusting and learning without distractions. No stress, just the 3 of us adapting and learning on our own. I think we are equipped and capable for the most part.
I wonder what it will feel like to wake up in the morning and not feeling Ezra inside of me. I wonder what it will feel like to have to share him with so many others, since for so long he felt so much more mine. I wonder what nights will be like, I wonder what the love will feel like.
Excitement feels like an understatement at this point. OBVIOUSLY we are excited, but we feel so much more than that- we feel so close to the finish line that it's just FOR REAL. It sinks in. We will SEE our baby, touch him, brush our faces against his tiny soft cheeks, nibble on his toes, and welcome him into our love, our family.
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