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Sunday 18 April 2010

Sharing, because that's what a blog is for...

I have been on a little bit of a mission today. I have been trying to liberate myself of work, and to experience my life, and its little things. If you asked anyone, I used to be the one who would appreciate the small things, from flowers to clouds, and everything under the sky. Things have definitely changed through having my own business, and about 2400 responsibilities. It's normal, it's natural, it's healthy to change. However I think I took it a little too far. I am so in love with my job, that I have been in denial about being slightly obsessed. In a super unhealthy way. This whole time I could not understand that/why/how overworking was a negative. In hindsight, the unhealthy behaviors show to a fault, and I am too ashamed to write them here.

Until I talked to my best friend, she opened my eyes. Oh did I mention she is also my business partner? So she could speak as both those figures and have me realize that I have gone overboard. It was a bittersweet moment and we both got emotional. We recognized how much things have changed, how fortunate we are, how passionate we are, and yet that I have become a monster. Not in the literal sense of the word--- but you get it!

So onto the positive, today was the first day to my cure. I agreed & did things that I have not done in a long time. Hubby and I went up hiking on Rainbow Mountain and chatted on a balanced rock. We spent a small fortune on flowers, which we, aheam HE planted. We then planned and researched for our next vacation.

It was such a simple day, and oftentimes throughout it, I felt urges to work. As if the time I was spending being "unproductive" could have been put towards work. My bad habits were showing already in my mind, but I resisted, and forced myself to find something, ANYTHING that kept me happy and not working.

If it sounds like an addiction, please do not worry about me. I think it's simply a badly managed lifestyle that has gone on for too long. I am determined to get to a place where I am completely happy, productive, relaxed, and most of all balanced. I still deeply believe that what is underlying here, is a deep love for my carreer, an overly determined personality, and strong work ethic; but amongst what sound like great qualities, i cannot forget to live my life, that it is not a race, that at the end of my days I won't be wanting my company, rather my loved one, that I can discern, and balance the aspects of my life, and most of all that I can enjoy.

One of the simple things I did today was watch the "JULIA & JULIE" movie. I loved it. The dialogue wasn't the greatest, but the storyline, the ambiance, and the simplicity of it were remarkable. This movie was such a pick-me-up!

I am ever so thankful. I have an incredible network system that are my husband & my bff, which both alone make me one of the luckiest gals on earth. I have God to thank for all that I have.

Also thanks to Julia Child for cheering me up:





Tomorrow Im going to watch "The way we were" for the first time.

2 comments:

Andrea said...

Vania, I just came across this blog and this post really resonated with me. I am so happy for you, to take some time to "be as you were." The strangest curse of having a job we love, is the addiction we unknowingly form to it. I struggle with balance often and sometimes it's nice to know that there are others too!

A Very Berry Blog said...

I LOVE YOU! sniff sniff :*)