It's a ...

Oohhh I can't say yet! we're having the gender reveal party/ my birthday party this Saturday and that's where we will announce it to everyone :D :D :D Friends and family will be joined to see us cut the cake. The cake inside will either have blue or pink icing! :D Everyone is trying to trick us to tell them, but we are staying strong and not budging! :D We know that it's a perfect little "___________" !!!!!!!! and I could not be more happy, it couldn't feel more right! Another amazing thing has happened yesterday, and then again today: Brian felt the baby moveeeeeeeeeee!!!!! This is SUCH a rarity as they say you can only feel the baby from the outside around 25/30 weeks!!!! well our baby loves its daddy so much that not once, but twice Brian has felt it! :D It's such a moving feeling for me that Brian to felt what I felt SIMULTANEOUSLY from the inside! Last night we were in bed and he just put his hand on my tummy because I told him that baby was moving a lot... But I discouraged him, and told him that it was way too soon for him to feel it. Brian held on with his hand in the same spot and baby kicked! seriously! and I felt it too of course! It was SUCH AN AMAZING FEELING. Then again tonight, while eating dinner, my belly was barely touching the bottom of the table and I felt the baby moving pretty intently and basically bumping my belly into the table! so I told Brian again that it was moving like crazy and sure enough Brian felt it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so amazing! I am 18 weeks, so this is completely and happily premature. The baby is 8oz! which is way more than all the apps and websites say it would be at this point! what a strong little love :) We are so incredibly blessed :D It has a perfect little head and spine and neck and cutie little face <3 I already feel so much closer knowing more about this person :D

Poll | Boy or Girl

Will baby Morris be a boy or a girl? what does your gut say?

Do you think BABY will be BOY or GIRL?

BOY

GIRL

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Movements & Mystery

Mystery
In just two days we find out if the little dancer baby is a boy or a girl and I wanted to have a final blog post of the "not knowing" stage. Wheew part of me is sooooo glad it will be over shortly, because my impatience had almost come to a max.... but it also makes me realize that things are ROLLING! this is really happening! time is passing! and it's all so wild! There will be no more pondering of baby boy and baby girl names, or girlish wallpapers versus boyish ones. No more wondering what the heck really is in there... it will be FINAL! and ours. and so perfect either way.

Movements
I now feel the baby quite regularly and my stomach has undergone one of those growth spurts days. There have been a few days throughout the pregnancy where I just feel the stretching or see the "en-large-ning" overnight! ...ummm where did my waist go!?... and I swear it's measurable growth! in one day! each time!
perhaps only i can notice these growing days, but they feel oh so concrete to me.

The movements feel like a million things:
• rolling
• aliens are taking over my body
• hardening of one part of the belly
• sheer wildness
• like something is not normal (aka the body is not used to feeling THAT!)
• like your belly is really sensitive for a moment on the outside
• and finally, like every time a movement happens, you just wish the entire world around you would shut off so that you could enjoy it at the fullest ... everyone be quiet and stay still! my baby is moving inside of me!...

Sometimes also when I stand up too fast, I feel as if a weight pulled down suddenly in my uterus.

This is the best way I can describe and immortalize what this baby feels like inside of me. My only first child. My only first times I'll feel this. There will never be a first time again, and I wish I could just hug this pregnancy, just to say thank you.

So boy or girl!??!?!?! ahhhh we shall soon find out! I will blog as soon as I find out so to commemorate the feelings! and our reactions! :D

17 weeks

  

Weeks 16 & 17 have been quite stressful. The stress had nothing to do with the perfect little baby though, rather it was work related. We launched our new brand, and guiltily enough it's been hard to think about much else. The plus side to that though, is that the chaos in my work life has made these weeks go by so fast-- and now we find ourselves only SIX DAYSSSSSS from knowing the gender! 

it's unbelievable. 

First of all I am just dying to see the baby again regardless, but to know that such a monumental news will be revealed in only 6 days is just kind of nuts! This whole experience is just hard to wrap one's brain around. Everything has felt fine bodily wise. The lower back pain and the breast-bone pains are still here but I have absolutely nothing to even complain about. This pregnancy could not be smoother, and as usual I think that that is because this baby is just perfect for me/us. Already the baby is a little angel in all its perfection.

The baby movements are so short (milliseconds!) and so far and wide that it makes me doubt myself about what I am feeling. Was THAT it?! it sure felt like it... but then again, maybe it was just the way i was sitting... 

that's pretty much how I feel about the "movements" sometimes. 

Other times they feel so OBVIOUS that I'm like: no no THAT was definitely it! 

but then I don't feel another such thing for days.  So it's hard to tell right now. 

From now on, it's said that the weight gain explodes for both baby and mom! and as usual I am of the mind that as long as most of the weight remains in the belly area- Im all for it ;) hehe!

Everyone says this baby will be a girl-- only very few people (2 or 3) have said boy...

and I, as usual, still have no prediction-- which I kind of prefer that stance anyways. 

The other day Brian kissed my belly a lot and it made me tear up :.) heck it makes me tear up just thinking about it! ;) 

Then on another day, I was walking up to Brian from far away (think out of ear shot and very movie like) and as I walked closer and closer I could  read his lips as he was saying to the people sitting next to him how I was the prettiest pregnant woman he'd ever seen. 

sigh <3 I am blessed.

16 weeks

Ok it's time for new LARGER underwear and bras. Everyday the belly pokes out more and more... it's so sudden! I literally feel a circle of skin around my belly button stretch!!! Also the little baby movements I felt last week have not been here these past few days. I've read that it is normal to not feel the baby move after the first time ever, so I'm not concerned. Also, I know everything is smooth sailing because the size of my entire abdomen, pelvis, uterus, and everything else in that region is expanding.

All I can think about is the doc's appointment that is in TWO WEEKS! TWO WEEKS!

Oh also we bought the baby crib!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that definitely moved me a little bit.  It's unisex in my opinion and we might or might not paint it here it is! :D 

I love the dainty-ness of it. All other cribs seemed so bulky to me! and I looked at HUNDREDS.
This one had thin rails and most importantly a vintage feel ! I cannot believe we've bought our baby's BED! this is nuts to me. What else is nuts that in 14 days we will know it's genderrrrrrr!!! I cannot wrap my mind around all these surreal happenings. Someone pinch me :)

Baby is that YOU!!?

Today I think I felt the baby move!!!!!!!!! it was freaky ! and so cool and left me with a silly smile on my face when I was alone...

It first happened outside the bank while sitting in the car. The weird sensation made me jolt and say "ummm what was THAT!?" and then i shrugged it off because after all, it was only a split second and I've been having all kinds of weird jerks and ligaments pulls going on.

But then later, outside the post office (yes, it was errand day), I felt it again-- the same ROLL sensation in pretty much the same spot! (ovary thereabouts). Mystery Morris is about 4.5/5 inches, but it's still pretty early to feel him/her according to the internet. Possible, but early :D

 Christine was with me during those two happenings, and then I felt the subtlest thing when I was alone later on. So that adds up to 2.5/3 times in one morning/afternoon the very first day I felt anything at all!

What a weird feeling, I would describe it as: take you pointer finger knuckles and roll it onto your skin, now imagine that feeling from the inside!! It wasn't gas or flutters it was a ROLL ! :D

What an insane day... I want to feel it more more more! :D :D :D

15 weeks

15 weeks comes with some pangs of stretchy pain. When I move or stretch it can be almost painful. SO I am realizing that the little Mystery Morris is indeed growing and I need to be more demure and graceful in my movements :)

I had a very big scare a few days ago :.( it still makes me really sad to think about... We were out at a shoot in our clients' field, our client was driving us through the land in a motorized golf cart and SPEEDING pretty intently. The field which was full of tall grass didn't allow to foresee the giant BUMPS; so this ride felt like riding a wild horse. I'm serious. Christine and I literally had to stand up she was going so fast over those bumps.

I had told my client that I was preggo but she forgot and then when she realized she apologized over and over. I didn't stop the ride sooner because I thought the bumps would improve... it wasn't a long ride but still it was VERY INTENSE. I wasn't in pain or had any symptoms THANK THE BEAUTIFUL LORD. But I was very very scared and nervous for the rest of the night.

I called the doc the next morning 3 minutes after the opening hour, and when the nurse called me back, I recounted the story and she assured me that everything was fine. That it would take a car accident or direct trauma to the stomach for something bad to happen. :.( She also reassured me that the baby is surrounded by fluid and is very flexible, so any damage to him/her was almost impossible.

Sigh... even though these were comforting words, it still scared me. It still hurts me to think about it. ugh.

Anyways besides that everything is fabulous. I still SOMEHOW feel thin.. which is nuts! I thought by now i would feel so fat that I'd be wearing burkas everyday. I feel pretty well besides a few tolerable aches when I move in bed or my lower back sometimes.

In 3 weeks, count them 1, 2, 3 weeks we get to find out if Mystery Morris is a BOY OR GIRL!!!!!!!!

the wait is excruciating for someone as impatient as me. OMG.

Sometimes I let my mind wonder and think: "how will I feel 2 days before the appointment? or 2 hours before the appointment!?" I might as well just sit in one place and not do anything during that time because I will be useless. useless!! I am DYING to KNOW, as you can tell :D

I foresee May being a BUSY BUSY month! we have several shoots for work, a birthday/gender reveal party, the BIG ultrasound, and then some shopping NYC time! 

14 weeks 3 days

We went to the doctor's 3 days ago and hearing the heart beat again was so relieving. This was the first time they used the doppler on me, and it took a few minutes to find the heartbeat as the baby kept moving. At 14 weeks the beat was 147, perfect. Still, those tiny few minutes (3-5) were the longest. I just closed my eyes and breathed slowly so as not to move my belly too much; but definitely many thoughts ran through my mind. I looked at Brian and he too had an anxious look. When the nurse finally found the beat, we took giant sigh of relief, and we heard it a couple of times.

It's funny how 3 minutes can scare you, and then a short moment of a heart beat can save you.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT IN 4 WEEKS WE WILL FIND OUT THE GENDER OF OUR BABY!!!!!!! Basically, I have to tell you, It's ALL I think about.

Last night I slept so lightly. From 4:44 am until 7:32 am ALL I could picture in my in-and-out-of-sleep-day-dreaming-brain was a piece of cake, with either blue or pink filling.
 OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

That's all my subconscious mind could muster up. PINK CAKE, BLUE CAKE, PINK CAKE, BLUE CAKE, PINK CAKE, BLUE CAKE. The pink cake once even had THE NAME on it! :D

In 4 weeks there will be no more options and dreams about having either gender baby, it will be REAL. Whatever it is it is. Final. WOW.

We have the names selected, and so sometimes I refer to "it" in my head with either the boy or girl name. Sometimes I even pretend to have both "X" and "Y" in there and call them by their selected "names".

I love both names soooo much that I'll be upset to not use either one.

And because I MUST make these 4 weeks go by FAST, I am preparing my birthday party and making it also a gender revealing party. To keep me busy and make it special for everyone around us :)

Then right after that, the NURSERY PROJECT WILL BEGIN! pretty nuts! I should begin to order wall paper samples ;) 

 Thanks for reading and until soon ;D

 -V

Tomorrow Tomorrow

Tomorrow is another doc's appointment. These appointments are one of the big ways some of my anxiousness and impatience is relieved ;)

even if we just get to hear the heartbeat and not necessarily peek IN there-- that's plenty for me :D

The next appointment after tomorrow's, will most likely be when we do a gender ultrasound! :D can you say -> OOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMM GGGGGGGGGG that is the most exciting thing ever ever of my life ever! Hopefully on May 17th we will find outttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is the time to put in your bets, what do YOU think baby will be? boy or girl!?

Do you think BABY will be BOY or GIRL?

BOY

GIRL

Create your own poll with LearnMyself

13 weeks 1 day

in less than a week we will go see the doc. again. I'd go every week if it was for me. I just like to check in and say hi to the little love.

Today we announced to the world about our huge news! Now it really feels real!
I must say I thought I liked the privacy of only the intimate people knowing, but after being showered with comments from very old and new friends, it sure feels nice to be surrounded with that much positivity. I also love that my video made people tear up in joy. My little love is already impacting people. Isn't that what it's all about!!

So here is the movie that says it all:

Our Miracle from Vania Morris on Vimeo.

13 weeks tomorrow

I will be 13 weeks tomorrow. REALLY. HUGE. DEAL!

I have had a fever for the past couple of days. It's an anomalous fever though, because I have no symptoms and it starts at the same time 2pm.

I called the doctor yesterday because I can tell that's it's not viral, he just said to take Tylenol so I did and 30 min. later I was completely fine. perfect.

Today was a dejavu of yesterday though: chills around 2pm and escalating fever until 4pm to 99.3
so I took tylenol gain.

I really hate taking medicine right now, so it's a big deal for me to have taken it twice in 2 days. But the doc. said that it's better I take it than not.

If this weird fever happens again tomorrow I'm going to his office, because... well because BETTER SUPER SAFE THAN SORRY.

13 weeks also marks having told almost everyone who is special in our lives, and the cusp of about to announce it to the world (AKA: posting it on facebook)

I am so happy to be out of the "danger zone" that is the 1st trimester, it was such smooth sailing I barely noticed ;) but this fever is worrying me just a tad bit. Hopefully its just a baby growth spurt.

Throughout my life I've always gotten fevers right before a growth spurt, and so I/m thinking like mother like baby.

So you go ahead strong little love, do what you need to do to grow grow grow!

12 weeks 3 days

well, along with the 12 weeks mark, overnight, a belly emerged. It really feels like overnight my midsection has drastically changed. Last night I could actually feel the muscled stretching while I was laying in bed... it's very strange, and then in the morning I felt sore, especially around my belly button. I can also tell that above my belly button, what was my flat ab section is not definitely tilted outwardly!!!

The baby is definitely making his/her appearance and I am really happy about this, I am just shocked as to how quickly things change in front of my eyes.

We just returned from our 10 day Panama Canal Cruise. This vacation was abundant with: relaxation, sun and food. loads and loads of food.

On the cruise I looked bloated for sure but nothing a big meal hadn't done to my stomach before..... or so I thought... wait till you hear this story...

I am a dessert eater, and pregnancy has definitely increased my want for sweets. I still watch it, but while I was on vacation I certainly did indulge!

I had two plates full of desserts for Brian and I to share, two sample platters of sweets if you will...

The dessert chef, who was replacing some trays, was out and about and I asked him if they still had the mini fruit pies I loved so much. He said he could certainly find some.

I waited for a few minutes and upon his successful return with the pies, he looked and pointed downwards towards my two plates and with his very thick accent asked: "is it a man?" and I responded " yes it's for my husband too". Then he continued to tell me how he knows it's a "man" because bellies that poke out usually are carrying boys... and I, in a shell shock, quickly said: "oh no, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl!!"

all the while thinking HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW IM PREGNANT, I MEAN I AM BLOATED BUT I AM WEARING A VERY LOOSE DRESS AND WHAT IF I HADN'T BEEN?!!!!!???

When I returned to the table where Brian was sitting, I told him about this happening and he too was pretty shocked by the foreign chef's bold statement! we thought it was pretty cool and very strange at the same time.

A few days later, we encountered the Serbian chef once again and I just HAD to ask him: "how did you know I was pregnant?" and he said that for a few days he had observed what I had been eating and looked down at my stomach and knew!

OH.HOLY.EMBARRASSING.

I was highly amused and even more ashamed by this response. Nonetheless, one thing was sure-- baby had poked out and that made me very very happy :)

10 weeks!

10 weeks is very exciting and yesterday's appointment did not disappoint!!!!!! we got to see our little baby dance and move and.... wait for it... WAVE AT US!!!!!! that little, yet very distinct wave was amazing!! <3

Brian was smitten by the baby moving... he couldn't believe it!
we are so happy to have a healthy dancing little baby growing right on chart (at 10 weeks he/she measured 10 weeks and 2 days) so yay! what a strong little guy!

EVERYONE thinks it's going to be a girl, but I personally do not have an intuition whatsoever! I am not leaning either way and I don't have the "feeling" of knowing... simply patiently awaiting until we find out for sure!

The appointment itself was very long. We arrived at 12:15 and left at 2:30. We waited for a long time but I didn't care about that. After the glorious and exciting ultrasound, I had to give 7 viles of blood!!! ugh...

Everything was perfect with the baby and gratefulness doesn't even begin to describe it.



I really want to commemorate here that
From the very first moment we found out, Brian has been not your typical man in denial or shock. Perhaps on some level, he even seems more prepared than me ;) He also TOTALLY is sharing my symptoms! he eats like he's pregnant with twins! he is very in tune with me, I tell him everything I feel physically and emotionally and the communication is reciprocal.

There have definitely been a couple of instances where he was clueless about obvious things, and it caused a fight... but oh well no one is perfect.

He kisses my non existent bump and I know he loves and wants this baby so much :.)

The other heart-melting thing is that he always says he wouldn't mind having a little girl who looked and sounded like me! :) whenever he says that my pupils turn heart-shaped! :D

He's going to be even better at this parenting thing than I am ;P

Anyways the bittersweet news is that we wont get to peek at baby for another 8-12 weeks
oy! but but but we will find out the gender then soooooooooo definitely worth the wait! :D

Fizzing

Science would probably disagree with me, but I KNOW I felt a movement in the womb.
I know it wasn't gas, I know what gas feels like. Actually during pregnancy gas is a little painful. I also know I've never felt that tiny little feeling before ever in my life, in fact it freaked me out a bit.

I was laying in bed on my side waiting to fall asleep and I felt a tiny string of FIZZING bubbles deep inside of me. In a perfect row. fizzing. I took another breath and I felt the same thing again...it freaked me out so I moved out of the position and told Brian about it! I shrugged this feeling off very quickly because I didn't know what It meant and frankly, there have been many many new subtle feelings when it comes to my body lately so I didn't think much of it.

A couple of days later while reading a pregnancy article about I don't remember what, they described the movement of the baby JUST AS THE FEELING I HAD EXPERIENCED!!!! When I read a few more descriptions of women who felt the same thing around the same time, I KNOW IT WAS MY BABY!!! The reason I am so sure is because It's a feeling I've never had in my life :D

Ok so tomorrow is the big day I've been dying to arrive!!!! Our ultrasound where we get to see baby again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did I mentioned how much I love technology and ultrasounds in particular???? I am dying to see my baby again!!!!!!!!!! this time I might blow up the pic! :D

9 weeks 5 days

I have been wanting so many kiddy foods like oreos, bananas, pears, baby yogurt, anything sweet, pb&js etc etc.
I could seriously eat cake all day long if I didnt care about my body-- which I do, a lot.
I've actually been really good thus far in controlling what I eat. Before embarking on this journey, I didn't know that through pregnancy you only had to add 300 calories to your normal diet. That's only like a bowl of cereal and a banana a day (aka not much at all). So really I have been maintaining my normal diet and indulging in one or two sweets a day, but no more! I want to be able to look and feel good throughout this pregnancy, and my baby is being SO incredibly considerate towards me!

A deluge of thick blue veins have appeared overnight on my belly sides and breasts. It's like my skin is "ripping" Incredible Hulk style. They are just veins, but it freaked me out when I first saw them in the mirror. The veins design a map on my body that represents the most exciting trip I will ever embark on.

Last night I kept stretching (arching my back) needing to stretch out that way for some reason. All night long I kept arching my back as if to stretch. Really weird almost like a tick.

Thursday is only two days away but I have been dying for this day to arrive!!! We will see our baby again and that's all I want. Gosh I really wish I had an ultra sound machine at home so that I could see my baby every day if I wanted to ...

Until this very moment I hadn't thought about the fact that after Thursday I won't have another ultrasound to peek in there for gosh knows how many weeks... ahhh I dont wanna think about that. But hopefully feeling the movements of the baby by then will satisfy my need to see what's going on in there!

This process is really making me realize that I am the most impatient person I know. I may look like I am waiting patiently but I am just always wanting to make it to the next milestone. I think it's because as things progress there is more and more hard proof evidence that this baby IS IN THERE!

Right now only immediate family knows and a few friends. I look forward to 12 weeks when I'll be able to tell the world! :D shout it in everyone's ears!
I am not showing and I feel pretty much completely normal... my few symptoms are subtle. Yes, I know how lucky I am!

My gosh I just cannot wait to see my baby! He/she is looking like a real baby now, the size of a prune. He/she has completely formed the lips and the tip of the nose!!!!!! this drives me nuts, because I just need to see them!!!!!! :.)

Shortly after the doc's appointment, we will leave to go on a 10 day vacation to the Panama Canal. This will be so needed to just bond over baby, devour the baby name book, enjoy ourselves and soak it all up. It will also distract me from counting down more days! :D

The huge milestone once we will return from our cruise, will be that I will be 12 weeks! and therefore I'll be able to tell everyone about our sweet news.

I have a few trips planned for work in the spring/summer and I am positive yet nervous about them. I wonder how I'll feel. I am very much one of those people who keeps going through the pain. But I want to be sure that If I am not feeling well I will stop myself from keep on going. I will be going to a couple of place in the south, NYC, and Italy. It's really very slow work wise compared to any other year, so for that I am thankful. Plus NYC and Italy are my favorite places in the world, so me and baby will get to not only go there together, but shop for him/her a whole lot!!! :D

Also by then we will know the GENDER!!!! and that is a huge deal!

We've been slacking at name-searching for a while now. We have a LIST, but I still feel like I want more options. Our top baby boy name was recently used by someone we sort of know and it threw me off. Now I am torn.

For a baby girl name, there is a name that feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO right, a name a found before I was preggo and just trying. Even now that name overshadows all the other baby girl names I compare it to. Soooooo we'll see!!!!!!