Paris | October 2011

Almost 1 year later I am finally getting around to posting photos of our Euro trip! :D better late than never, right!?

photo taken from top of Sacre Coeur 

photos taken at Trocadero

Versailles :

Apparently the French in the 1700's hated negative space...

One of the many orchard gardens of Versailles:

Notre Dame:

Paris by night

One of my favorite moments in Paris was coming up on the Louvre from behind! Going from a modest courtyard (pictured above) and coming up on this view (below) at night, for the first time, was so momentous and romantic!

This view took my breath away!

Le Marais district:

Sacre Coeur:

We left our love mark on Sacre Coeur:

The city extends as far as the eye can see...

Again, at Trocadero:

aaaaaaaand this is what you get when you hand off a Canon 5D Mark II to a tourist...

The ever so chic, Champs Elysees:

I loved how in Paris, pastries are displayed like precious jewels in store windows....

Arc de Triomphe:

Delicious salmon croutons lunch at Le Marias:

29 weeks

 

I had another smaller episode of Braxton Hicks.  This time it happened from 3am to 5 am. I woke up from the "cramp" thinking "omg was I sleeping on my belly!?" but then I quickly realized that it was the same exact feeling I had had before of BH. This episode was milder but took longer to go away. I knew not to fear and to just relax, eat and drink. I actually even fell asleep and then woke again. I was really chill about it so much so that I even slept lightly through it.

I've been analyzing the ultrasound and I am concluding the following:

 Ezra will most definitely look more like his daddy, BUT he seems to have my "side nostrils", cheeks/mouth corners, and maybe feet ;) haha!

We will see if my observations will be accurate... 

There are only 70 some days until our due date! which is unbelievable to me. It feels like pregnancy has all these milestones to look forward to: 

the first ever ultrasound

the first ever heartbeat

the end of the 1st trimester

the first kick

the gender reveal

the 4d ultrasound

and then all of a sudden those "milestones" come to an epic and momentous end where the ONLY thing left is to meet the baby face to face! 

basically the next milestone is the real contractions, the real labor. 

 

During week 29 I also experienced something pretty crazy: the baby shakes. 

It basically felt as if the baby was convulsing inside of me--- really quite scary actually-- but when I looked it up, it explained it has something to do with their developing nervous system and sleep/dream function. Still I felt it about 4 times throughout one day, and it was just a wild feeling. 

I think my brain, at this stage in pregnancy, is simply trying to wrap itself around the thought that.. I am actually gonna have to push this baby boy out one way or another. It's gonna happen, no matter what. It's a feeling of "unknown territory" and anxiousness all at once. Happy excited nerves if you will ;)

 

Watch Ezra's 4 D Ultrasound HERE

28 weeks | 7 months!!!

7 months...7 months!

that's quite pregnant if you ask me!

I definitely feel that this is a different stage of pregnancy emotionally and mentally. It all feels so "right around the corner".

Ezra keeps being perfect and wonderful in my belly with his squirmish rock n roll movements that I love so much.

It all just feels so imminent, as if I will blink and it will be October.

I just cannot wait for the weather to cool down. I would say I've done a pretty good job at keeping cool and swollen down during the hottest summer in Alabama in 30 years. I give props to myself for that. We take nightly walks only when the sun's gone down, and if I'm outside I'm submerged in a pool somewhere.

Tomorrow we get to see the unspeakable: my baby's face! his FACE! All the features and skinscapes my mind is too simple to be able to fantasize about. I've been trying not to think about this appointment too much, just not to spoil the grandiosity of it! But boy oh boy, I know just what a big deal this is!

Laying down is getting harder. In bed, when I try to move from one side to the other, I feel like I am 1000lbs. But overall sleep is still pretty good.

I am informing myself as much as possible about childbirth, and I am actually SO thankful I've witnessed one in real life ;) (you know who you are ;)

I feel decently prepared as to what to expect, and I feel safely surrendered to fate. I won't be able to help how the baby's positioned, or how long my labor will be, what type of birth I will have-- but I feel positive that I can face any scenario, where my baby is safe, positively.

I really believe that as with anything in life, the way things are meant to unfold will be so, and therefore, I am very open to whatever and however "our birth story" will be.

Obviously I have preferences and opinions and we will try our best to be able to direct events to our preference.

We've been reading to Ezra at night, in Italian. It's a special bonding time for B and I, and I like the idea of baby hearing daddy's voice.

I sometimes force Brian to keep his hands on my belly for as long as possible, because I desperately want him to feel exactly all the moves I feel-- there are several types and I think he's felt them all. Well you know, besides feeling him from the inside ;P

I couldn't imagine being a man and not touching the belly a lot--as the moves progress-- then all of a sudden- they put a baby in your arms! I feel this way at least, he faces hard proof evidence of a squirmish baby, his habits, personality, and thinks about him as a real person.

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Today we were able to see Ezra's beautiful face for the first time ever... and it really is just that: beautiful. His babyscapes are scrumptious, and just as I thought, he looks just like his daddy! :D

 Maybe he'll star as Edward in the remake of Twilight one day-- he's THAT handsome... ok I might have just gone too far... ;)

But seriously LOOK at him!!!!!!!

whatdiditellyou!??!?! look at his LIPS! so flawless! And look at that foot, which will become the most photographed foot ever!?!? so perfect! 

Baby feet are seriously one of the reasons I wanted to have a baby :P ...

Everything was perfection at our appointment today- perfect blood pressure, my weight was good, Ezra cooperated in showing his handsome face... 

but guess what?! we found out that yet again my belly is measuring 3 WEEKS ahead of schedule (I am 28 weeks and it measures 31)... I just think someone is ready to come out into the world ;)

It occurred to me yesterday, and this may get a little cheesy for you, so be warned... that : Ezra is already IN this world... I just get to be the vessel that takes him from God, where he came from, to earth, where he is going. If you really have ever had that feeling sink in, it's overpowering. 

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27 Weeks | End of 2nd Trimester!!

Wow. Only 1 trimester to go. But I am so ready!
I already feel like I know Ezra with all his little habits :) The thing that I am so very incredulously amazed with is HOW RESPONSIVE Ezra is to MY touch. Not anyone else's touch, not even his daddy's. When I rub my tummy, I obviously know exactly where he is tucked in or sprawled out and when I rub he starts responding by kicking or touching my hand back! AWE STRUCK. I had no idea babies in utero could literally respond and communicate to outside touch. But it's no coincidence----it's almost 100% of the times. I touch and he responds back. DEFINITELY my favorite thing about pregnancy.

The best is when he's up there towards my abs, where there is less fat and I can feel him just millimeters away!

Yesterday, I had a very weird episode of what i think was Braxton Hicks. It's hard for me to describe what happened because I felt hazy. Basically I was cramping on my left side, a constant cramp- not a discomfort that came and went. I tried to completely ignore it, but it seemed to linger and not ease up. I was alone at home and Brian was not answering his phone, so that made me quite nervous.
I tried my hardest to relax, lay down, listen to music, but nothing--- the cramp (mainly on my left side shooting from my cervix to my stomach) persisted. I walked around, peed, laid down again, drank water-- nothing seemed to ease the weird cramp. So I ended up calling my doctor and the nurse suggested I come in to get checked out. By now it had been about 50 minutes of this. I met Brian along the way on the way to the hospital, but by the time I met him, it was like the cramp had melted away. It was gone all at once. So I called the nurse back and said that I now felt fine.

It was pretty odd though, because at one point the feeling was so uncomfortable that I could barely walk or lift my left leg... I am pretty sure it was Braxton Hicks.

I told Ezra that even though I know how anxious we both are to meet each other and even though  the world IS big and beautiful and there is a lot to see, he needs to stay in there for just a few more weeks. When I had that talk with him, my belly relaxed and the Hicks faded away.

Maybe he was just missing his daddy who knows. I think it's pretty incredible how the body gets a woman ready for labor though--- I hear BH are nothing like the real thing, but still, to even get a glimpse into the panic of labor I think mentally helps women.

Besides that episode, I've just been feeling heavier-- well obviously and also at 25 week my belly was measuring 27 weeks-- He's growing like a weed :) and it makes me happy :)

Last night Brian and I had so much fun just watching my belly rock and twitch from his movements. His most active times right now are 10am and 8:30pm :) So I can always count on some bonding time around those hours :)

In one week and one day we get to do the 4d ultrasound!!!!! I think that's INSANE! to be able to see HIS FACE ! the face I've been so intently trying to imagine since we were told "it's a boy".

Brian and I were not the cutest babies to be honest... we had to grow into our features. But I just think Ezra will be pure angelic perfection. Oh lord I'm THAT mom already! 

Next post you will see will be OF HIS FACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the most important little face in my world.

26 Weeks

This is the heart of pregnancy and I am loving it.

At week 26 I've noticed the sides of my stomach expanding and feeling the baby higher and higher in my upper abdominal area.

Ezra has been rocking and shaking my stomach where it's externally visible. Every time he rocks out like that, it's always a bit wild even for me to be watching it from the outside! He has definitely made himself comfortable in his temporary home.

The other day my stomach felt so tight, after eating Mexican food, I literally thought my shirt was too tight until I raised it, and realized it was my skin that was feeling like a tight shirt!

Yesterday I brought him along for a girls night and after dinner, during the movie I was feeling pretty uncomfortable as he kicked my vagina from the inside! I literally felt I could have peed constantly, and the need to clench for my life! He also was doing some crazy crazy moves during the movie-- perhaps because it was so loud!

I am absolutely loving the rain throughout week 26- Every time it pours down and cools down, I think about how little time is left before I meet my sweet handsome little love. I know he will be handsome if he looks anything like his daddy. Sometimes I think we were BOUND to have a son because Brian's good looks just NEEDED to be passed down-- oh gosh Brian is gonna kill me if he reads this! 

Anyways, back to the rain- it's soothing-just like the baby kicks I wake up to--- they go along so well.

25 weeks

 

25 weeks today- things definitely start feeling very imminent at this stage. 

 Ezra is as big as an eggplant and it totally feels like it too! :) 

He is so big and his movements get cooler and cooler. Because of his size, I never feel alone, but always accompanied by a little person. My favorite type of movement is when he will kick and punch almost simultaneously so that I can really feel his length across my stomach! The other day I could have sworn I had little feet kicking across towards one side, while his head and hands were on the complete opposite side of me.

His movements feel much more intentional now, and I hope I'm not being "THAT MOM" when I say this, but I can totally tell that when I touch my belly he moves more than when others touch it! I'm so serious. Can babies sense a different touch? I don't know but it sure seems that Ezra can ;) 

His movements in a way also feel more coordinated. Another fabulous happening in the "feeling him" news, is that I feel more of his "surface" not just a hand or foot thumping; I can actually feel his surface :) only inches away from my hands. 

I have been asked by some people why pregnant women "touch their bellies so much?" 

I would say there are two answers to that:

a) Um, if you had a little person growing inside of you and changing every day  you would be touching that too?!

or

b) I think a mother is always in search for her baby inside her; seeking and striving to connect and communicate with him.

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In other baby news, we are at a really good stage with the nursery and playroom. I even made a pillow for Ezra, look! ( I plan on making at least 2 more ;)

 

His play room will be fun, whimsical and colorful - while his nursery is rustic, chic and soothing

Today Ezra's gender reveal party and NAME reveal were featured on Onto Baby Blog:

http://www.ontobaby.com/2012/07/simply-sweet-gender-reveal-party-by-simply-bloom-photography/

see all the images here:

 /http://www.ontobaby.com/gallery/simply-bloom-gender-reveal/

24 weeks | 6 months!

 

Ezra is 6 months in utero! only a few more to go! :D 

 New development - I have changed doctors. I always had a funny feeling about my doctor- he has done nothing at all even bad-- but it was more just a feeling I had. 

I felt he rushed me out the door every time; mainly it was his "Laissez-faire" attitude that really bothered me. I once asked him if I could have direct sunlight on my belly (tan) and he said "yeah yeah sure sure" but then when I actually did lay out my belly pretty much broke out into a rash for a couple of days and ITCHED like there was no tomorrow! I just wish he would have taken .2 seconds to say "HEY your skin is stretching it might be more sensitive, ya know!?" 

Although it that is pretty common sense, I still HAD NOT THOUGHT ABOUT IT!

 and he should have mentioned something. But that is just ONE tiny example. 

The big one was when I brought up to him that I was  educating myself on UN-medicated childbirth-- In very few words he told me that "he usually tells his patients to get the epidural"... 

That just didn't sit well with me for weeks and stirred in my head... 

So here we are new doc!

I have not yet met the new doctor, but she comes HIGHLY recommended by 2 of our friends and also a business client who's delivered 3 kids with her. I've heard really good, consistent things about her- so I feel pretty good about my choice to switch.

 I have signed us up for 6 different prenatal classes! that might not sound like a lot but they are spread out in 2 months, 2 hospitals and 15 different attendances! ;) 

Let's just say I'd rather be over prepared when it comes to baby ;) 

 Ezra now ripples! or well he makes my stomach ripple.... so cool and weird!  

 I think the fun part at this stage is that with the movements, I really get a good sense for how BIG he is! the size of a cantaloupe or an ear of corn they say. 

Last night I was sweetly awoken by his little kicks throughout the night a couple of times--

the kicks felt as if he was hinting at me to go empty my bladder to make a little more room for him! ;) 

Sleeping has become a technique. I still sleep very well, it's just that the pillow arrangement around my body has to be a very particular way: 

2 pillows under my head (sometimes 3) 

1 pillow between thighs

1 thin pillow right under my belly

1 pillow to hug around with my arms

seriously. 

Oh and we have a QUEEN bed! ;P

Overall I still feel great- i don't feel like a huge giant whale yet and am still to even touch maternity clothes-- the goal is to never do that actually. I have been buying and wearing maxi dresses for the past 6 months-- but in this weather, that's all I'd wear anyways. 

Once the cool temps come I think I will just layer sweaters on top of those maxis and prolong their seasonal life... 

Anyhoo that's all for now. 

23 weeks

Ezra begins dreaming this week! oh my swoon! isn't that incredible!? what do babies in utero dream about!??!?! wow, that's a million dollar question right there. I am so in love and anxious to meet this little kicker bug. I just want to kiss his cheeks so badly!

I would call this "preparation week". I've made a really good dent into building the babe's registry, made one of the mobiles, ordered some things for his room/s (nursery & playroom/my office).

When it's all flawless and finished I will of course take photos and post them here :D

I also decided what his HALLOWEEN OUTFIT will be !!! eeeek!!! it's a secret for now though! ;)
He will be only a few days old so I had to take that into consideration! but oh my goodnessssssssss what a cutie he shall be!

In belly button news:

wow the right side of my belly button feels like it's stretching all the way. I put oil and lotion several times and thank goodness the stretching is not a mark!!!! but I am pretty terrified about a potential stretch mark right there! it also itches so much from all the skin stretching! lotion, oil, lotion, oil, lotion, oil, lotion, oil!

I think it will be a little freaky if/when the belly button flips/pops up! oy!


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This week has also been RECOUP week. It's been so therapeutic.  I've shut off work completely-- something that well...I've never done. I've never not checked emails and worked in about 4 years. Even on weekends.  I totally mean that too. I had kind of forgotten how simple and easy life could be on a daily basis. Is it a tiny bit boring? sure maybe! but wow, I can honestly say that this has been so good for my MIND, body, soul and mood. I told myself that I'd start back on Monday, and I am now totally dreading it. Getting back to 3 businesses, 3 inboxes, and hundreds of demanding requests catapulting at you all at once will not be so fun.

Anyways this RECOUP week I got a prenatal massage (courtesy of all my fab girlfriends) whom I was loving while I was getting kneaded by the masseuse lady! I got my favorite ice cream, baked a new recipe, went to the pool, the mall and simply just hung out. It was fabulous.

This stage of pregnancy is the best because I feel Ezra move all the time. I never feel alone, and I often smile down at his big movements.

22 weeks | Italy

Sigh, week 22 must have maybe been the most stressful one. I went to Italy for a gorgeous wedding with Christine and my mother accompanied me.

I was put under a lot of drama and stress, I tried to remove myself from the situation, but not speaking up resulted in a very unhealthy accumulation of emotions and stress-- which consecutively brought on me having a full blown panic attack. in the middle of the street. 6 mos preggo, in 100 degree heat. bawling.

I left Italy in a hurry needing to come back home. I needed my American commodities, my home, air conditioning, my husband, and mainly just be away from stressful people.

My dad was miraculously able to change my ticket in a few hours so that I could leave that next morning, which I did.

I have been home for 10 hrs and already feel SO MUCH better already. All the swelling went mostly down and I feel more emotionally stable.

I think it's crazy how the people who should be your number one supporters and loved ones sometimes act with no compassion or comprehension for what you are going through. Rather, putting you down--even with small comments and snide remarks that are so inappropriate. That was mainly the reason I hit bottom. I could not stand being around bad auras, having to hold my tongue in fear of exploding because I wanted to shelter my baby from stress-- but accumulating it was just as bad.   That, plus the 100 degree heat (with no air conditioning in Italy anywhere to escape to) had me flee Italy as fast as I could.

I promised myself that I will not go back to Italy without Brian-- I just need him with me for balance, always.  If he had been there things would have been completely different.

Anyways now I am back home, I slept in my bed, with all the pillows I am used to, in our clean, ventilated room, next to my hubby, woke up to my puppies, ate my regular breakfast, and already feel emotionally better.It makes me realize how much I have here-- and that all that matters, is in fact, right here.

What I've learned from that experience is that Ezra comes first and I need to do what I need to do for him. And if that's cutting my trip short to protect my body and him, that's what the best choice is. Because when it comes to him, there is just too much to lose, too much at stake.  I am 100% responsible for him- therefore, with no excuses he must come first and be protected from any potential stresses.

I know that this post might not make sense, but going into detail about what happened is needless. What I want to recollect on here is that I learned a lesson, perhaps the hard way, but it's better than nothing.

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Movement news:

At 22 weeks I felt Ezra punching and kicking simultaneously!!! I could feel the "thumps" in two different spots, length-wise, in my stomach for the first time. So I could feel how LONG he was! and let me tell you, this baby is a healthy BIGGEN! ;) it was the first and only time so far that I've felt that feeling, and it's so awesome. All I can do when I feel such STRONG movements is smile or chuckle to myself out loud! sometimes they even have me tear up :.)

Then, a few days later, on the plane back home, I felt a GIANT kick/punch by in my top abdomen, way above my belly button! it was such a surprise, because I hadn't realized that area of my stomach was being rented out this soon. But how cool it was!! he must have been stretching my uterus all the way up there, needing to upgrade his space. He's like a giant living in a Manhattan flat.

It so crazy how you start feeling the movements not only strengthen, but also creep up with more force higher and higher, and every time, these changes happen overnight! from one day to the next!
so naturally.

The fact that Ezra is so big makes me so happy.

Wardrobe news:

I am so happy with boy clothes! like REALLY happy. I have found the CUTEST most stylish things! I never knew I'd like boy clothes! but even though there may be less choices than girls', they are AWESOME! baby Zara is the best, but H&M, etsy, Prenatal, and a few other places are amazing-- Ezra is gonna look soooooooo handsome in all the clothes I've bought for him! he has a few Jcrew looking outfits that Im sooo excited about ;)

 Nursery news:

I am incredibly happy with how the design for the nursery is coming along. It's exactly what I had envisioned--- vintage, whimsical, neutral with touches of rustic baby boy elements.
What we have thus far: wall paper, chandelier, mobile, crib, fabric for bedding/ curtains, and dresser.

All that remains are just a few details like wall art, shelves, closet, rocking toy, pillows, etc.

21 weeks

I can feel Ezra kicking and punching so much. Even Brian has had the pleasure of feeling him many times since week 17. But each week the movements get a little bit stronger! Last night Brian felt a whole string of kicks all in a row! he kept saying "oh boy", "oh boy", "oh boy" with each one! :.)
 It was after dinner and I think Ezra was very pleased with fried zucchini pasta so he was letting us know that he enjoyed that dish! ;)

I am beginning to feel the little movements higher in my belly now--right at my belly button! which is crazy! this baby is such a healthy bundle of biggen! ;)


Weight:

I have apparently (completely out of nowhere) gained 7lbs in 3 weeks! This concerns me a bit because it was such a big jump compared to the previous months. I have not been eating more, so it's really a mystery to me. I wouldn't  doubt that baby is bigger than he's supposed to be on chart-- after all, he has been all along through the pregnancy!  I am thinking at least 1lb of that weight must be him! ;) which is awesome! I can safely assume this, because the little roll movements have turned into straight-up kicks! Ones that are visible from the outside!! :D Crazy! The movements/kicks really seem to be becoming so much stronger increasingly everyday.

What a healthy little soccer player Ezra shall be! :D

20 weeks!

 Today marks the halfway point in this beautiful pregnancy. I've been resisting saying this in fear of speaking too soon, but thus far, it's been a breeze. Ezra fits inside of me and in our lives so effortlessly. I can feel him now as we speak :) 

20 weeks today. In only 20 more we'll meet him! in person! THAT just does not seem real whatsoever. 

 I've bought so many adorable little clothes for him, they get me all excited! and by the way-- I think I am just as excited about boy clothes as I thought I'd be about little girl clothes. Sure, there are less choices, but their littleness alone makes them so adorable!

Today is also a special day as Brian and I celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary! 

 Life's timing is so crazy... on our wedding day, who would have known that exactly 4 years later, we'd be halfway through our first pregnancy! on the dot. 

B and I don't have anything special planned-- dinner and a stroll, but I hear that type of date will seem really special once the baby is here... ;) so we'll begin taking advantage.

We are slowly ordering things for the nursery. I have a very clear plan of what I want and could order everything at once, but to not scare Brian with purchases, I am making them a few days in between ;) 

Through all of life's little in-betweens, Ezra is already all that matters, most of all. Everything else is just miniscule.

Best Birthday

 

 

 

 It was the best birthday I think I've ever had. It was all about our baby boy, I was snotty and sick, and we even forgot to sing me the "happy b-day song" and yet it was the best one yet. 

We were surrounded by our friends and family and we revealed that we are having a baby BOY!

Then, to surprise everyone even more, we decided to do a balloon pop with the NAME inside! no one was expecting that, and it was a really big momentous surprise! :D

In the morning, when it was just our little family,

Brian gifted me the sweetest card, a soft and tiny baby outfit, brought me my fav. chocolate croissant, a bouquet of daisies and my favorite: a tree to represent growth dedicated to Ezra, which we will plant outside his room <3

Brian can be such a sweet and thoughtful man sometimes it blows me away !

I feel like life gets better and better just because of this little guy who fills me with love from the inside out.

My Baby Boy

God has blessed us with a baby boy! and I feel like a mother. It was instantaneous how close I felt to the baby inside of me once I knew who HE was! to be able to think about him and who he'll be and what we'll do together... those are the things that make a mom fall in love at this stage. Even though Brian and I were leaning towards wanting a girl, having him feels so perfect. He is mine and I know we'll love him and he'll surprise us in ways we cannot understand now. I dream about his face and his nose and his fingers and toes. I dream about when he'll be 2 and want in our bed during a storm, I dream about the first few days with him, just admiring him enclosed by his daddy and me, I dream about when he'll be a teenager and how I'll tell him to be good to girls, and I even dream about who will be his fiance one day and how she will then take care of my boy :.)

God is lending us one of his angels for the duration of our visit on earth. I recognize that our baby boy is God's and only temporarily ours, and that is what will make him so miraculous, pure and wonderful.We are so thankful.


So for now, we hope God likes the name we choose for his and our son:

Ezra in the old testament was a priest, scholar, copyist, and historian who wrote the two Chronicles and the Book of Ezra.


To me it feels like a wise, deep, kind name. A lyricist, a poet, a meaningful soul. A name who will reflect a profound, prudent and sensible man.


Calling my baby boy by his name, makes my whole world make sense.